Beach Tennis

This isn't tennis

Reviewed by Shawn from afro-ninja.com

I feel a little bad reviewing Beach Tennis, because it’s an obvious attempt to cash in on sex appeal rather than actually be a good flash game. The ‘selling’ point is that if you get a high enough score the girls go topless... but if cartoon boobs are your thing then chances are don’t want to spend your time playing a bad game in the process. On a side note this game has no author credits- it links back to miniclip but doesn’t feature any miniclip logos. Maybe they just want to forget about this one.

Beach Tennis has two girls. A girl in an American bikini, and a girl in a British bikini They’re basically both the exact same 3d model, aside from different hair color. Also, you can only play as the American girl. Move around with the arrow keys, hit the ball with spacebar. ‘Charge’ your shot with space to affect the distance the ball goes. That’s about as deep as this gets. The game shows you where the ball will land, but due to the awkward ¾ view (there’s a reason tennis games aren’t made at this angle) it’s pretty much necessary for seeing where the ball is. In novice mode the hit boxes are huge. You can literally stand almost a character’s length away from the ball and still hit it. In expert mode the CPU doesn’t get any smarter, the hitboxes are just more realistic. Yes, if you get ahead by a certain amount of points the girls go ‘topless’ but you really can’t even tell. If you score additional points you’ll see a topless shot of your character consoling the other one (nice shot!) but it’s still lame.

The characters are 3d but don’t let that excite you. These are just quick 3d renders exported with a couple of generic animations. The court looks decent. The ball is a single white circle. Our sound options are limited to cheesy Hawaiian menu music, and the ambience of the ocean. Also, for some reason the girls like to moan when they hit the ball- I’m glad someone is excited by this game. If seeing a single frame of generic nudity is your thing then there’s no doubt about it, this game is for you. Everyone else, stay away.

Click here to play Beach Tennis






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